Post by Jonathan Crane on Sept 17, 2008 19:19:49 GMT -5
Hey, clowns.
Welcome to Gotham City.
You want to make everybody stir-crazy? This scene has a receptive bunch. But let me get you up to my speed, first.
Gotham, being the grimiest Hell-hole on the face of planet Earth, has a titan of a police force under Commissioner James Gordon. Most of them are loyal to boot, but it isn't hard to spoil a few apples in the bunch. It's funny how well a knife and a threat work, isn't it? Rip a couple of mouthes with a beautiful little Glasgow grin and suddenly everybody wants to be your best friend!
Now, you're probably wondering about that Batman, and how he's close to the police and blah, blah, blah. The Batman's fair game to Gordon. He's being hunted like a fox. He can't show his face anymore, but I wouldn't be surprised if the Bat came back to town one of these nights. Just have to find the right gimmick to rip him out of the shadows, because I know he's still here...
And I bet you're just itching to know what happened to Gotham's White Knight, Harvey Dent. I never really hated the man, even though he did manage to put my clients behind bars. I found Mr. District Attorney strapped to a bed, with half of his face all blackened and crispy. While it was my idea to put him and his girlfriend in buildings with barrels upon barrels of gasoline with and a bomb, it wasn't my intention to kill her or to make him hideous. Well, oops, he turned out hideous.
Her?
Well, she's still breathing. Where she is, you'll never know.
Harvey's quite the Grendelesque monster, now. Runs around with a gun, flipping that coin of his...If you land the pretty side, you live. If you land the nasty side, BANG! You're done. All it took was a little bit of kidnapping and a touch of talking sense, and tada! I took the White Knight off of his pedestal and rolled him around in the dirt. Lowered him to my level. He likes going by Two Face now.
As for me...Last time you clowns saw me I was hanging upside down by an ankle with a SWAT team surrounding me. Obviously, I haven't been shot, tortured, or anything fun like that. No, I was a tenant in that infamous Arkham Asylum for a few weeks (I could've gotten myself out the night of check-in, but where would the fun have been in doing that?). They gave me a five-star looney suite with a complimentary white jacket and my own personal psychologist. A few heart-strings tugged here, a few good jokes there, and ta! I'm free as a bird.
You see, I essentially worked as a psychologist for my own purposes, my own twisted little games, and ripped the poor girl's tight, straight laces apart. I've got her wrapped around my finger now, that little bomb-flinger, and with her jumping at the clap of my hands, I'll show this city jokes that'll really knock 'em dead.
I've got a few people trying to steal the limelight from me, but they'll learn soon enough that this place is only big enough for me.
I want you all to meet me at an old comedy venue called "Laff City". It's located in a tricky spot, but if you're smart about it, it's findable. If you're there, you're in. Don't tell your friends, or else I'll have too many on my hands...
And nobody likes try-outs.
If you can't find it, then it just wasn't meant to be, amigo.
And if you're not behind the jokes...Well, then you're the target.
Happy hunting!
Oh, and here's my card.
You know, just in case.
Welcome to Gotham City.
You want to make everybody stir-crazy? This scene has a receptive bunch. But let me get you up to my speed, first.
Gotham, being the grimiest Hell-hole on the face of planet Earth, has a titan of a police force under Commissioner James Gordon. Most of them are loyal to boot, but it isn't hard to spoil a few apples in the bunch. It's funny how well a knife and a threat work, isn't it? Rip a couple of mouthes with a beautiful little Glasgow grin and suddenly everybody wants to be your best friend!
Now, you're probably wondering about that Batman, and how he's close to the police and blah, blah, blah. The Batman's fair game to Gordon. He's being hunted like a fox. He can't show his face anymore, but I wouldn't be surprised if the Bat came back to town one of these nights. Just have to find the right gimmick to rip him out of the shadows, because I know he's still here...
And I bet you're just itching to know what happened to Gotham's White Knight, Harvey Dent. I never really hated the man, even though he did manage to put my clients behind bars. I found Mr. District Attorney strapped to a bed, with half of his face all blackened and crispy. While it was my idea to put him and his girlfriend in buildings with barrels upon barrels of gasoline with and a bomb, it wasn't my intention to kill her or to make him hideous. Well, oops, he turned out hideous.
Her?
Well, she's still breathing. Where she is, you'll never know.
Harvey's quite the Grendelesque monster, now. Runs around with a gun, flipping that coin of his...If you land the pretty side, you live. If you land the nasty side, BANG! You're done. All it took was a little bit of kidnapping and a touch of talking sense, and tada! I took the White Knight off of his pedestal and rolled him around in the dirt. Lowered him to my level. He likes going by Two Face now.
As for me...Last time you clowns saw me I was hanging upside down by an ankle with a SWAT team surrounding me. Obviously, I haven't been shot, tortured, or anything fun like that. No, I was a tenant in that infamous Arkham Asylum for a few weeks (I could've gotten myself out the night of check-in, but where would the fun have been in doing that?). They gave me a five-star looney suite with a complimentary white jacket and my own personal psychologist. A few heart-strings tugged here, a few good jokes there, and ta! I'm free as a bird.
You see, I essentially worked as a psychologist for my own purposes, my own twisted little games, and ripped the poor girl's tight, straight laces apart. I've got her wrapped around my finger now, that little bomb-flinger, and with her jumping at the clap of my hands, I'll show this city jokes that'll really knock 'em dead.
I've got a few people trying to steal the limelight from me, but they'll learn soon enough that this place is only big enough for me.
I want you all to meet me at an old comedy venue called "Laff City". It's located in a tricky spot, but if you're smart about it, it's findable. If you're there, you're in. Don't tell your friends, or else I'll have too many on my hands...
And nobody likes try-outs.
If you can't find it, then it just wasn't meant to be, amigo.
And if you're not behind the jokes...Well, then you're the target.
Happy hunting!
Oh, and here's my card.
You know, just in case.